The Death of a Musician

(Excuse the ramble – I’m tired but this is the only chance I’ll have to write while my feelings are still fresh.)

The death of a musician is always a difficult emotional sensation to explain. When I first heard about Chester’s passing, it was in a tweet for an Avenged Sevenfold fan account, and my first reaction was, “Oh shit, was Chester a member of Avenged that I didn’t know about?” But no, upon further inspection he’s the lead singer of Linkin Park, and it turns out I do recognise that name after all. So if I can barely remember Chester’s name, then why on Earth would I be anywhere near as emotionally affected by his death as I would be if he were a friend of mine?

Let’s rewind a little bit.

Over the years, my taste in music has evolved towards bands like Bring Me The Horizon, Insomnium, As I Lay Dying, Architects. Before that, I mostly listened to Avenged Sevenfold and Lostprophets. But before that, I listened to Linkin Park. A lot. In fact, you could say that Linkin Park was the foundation of the type of music I’d go on to enjoy, and for my musical taste to evolve from. A whilst Linkin Park is hardly my first choice in music, it’s something I often find myself revisiting and binge-listening to. It might not be entirely in sync with my current musical tastes, but it’s still good music, and it’s got personal history with me. Certain albums back certain eras of my life.

For many people, music is a method of catharsis. Feeling sad? Joyful? Angry? Music can be a way to manifest how you feel into something slightly more tangible than thought. And even if you can’t identify with all of the lyrics all of the time, the vocal ranges and symphonic compositions can tug on something within you to amplify a particular emotion. Constructive for working through thought processes. Energising, for when you need motivation. Pacifying, for when you need to sleep with whatever burdens your mind.

I don’t know much about Chester Bennington. I don’t know his history, his character, his mannerisms. I don’t know why he took his own life. But I do know that he’s been instrumental in creating music that I love. I know that his songs have helped me sleep, help me walk with and understand my melancholy, helped me stay motivated and inspired me to continue creations of my own. I know that many of the lyrics that he sang so earnestly were centred around inner struggles, lyrics which many people will have attributed to their own battles with suicidal or self-harming thoughts. I know it’s a damn tragedy that he ended up taking his own life, and I know that I grieve for this man that I’ve never met due to all of the previous reasons. And that’s why I care about Chester Bennington’s death.

Rest in peace, Chester.