For the first time in the history of me being alive, I don’t have any destinations scheduled on my roadmap. From attending / completing various facets of education, to getting a job or Best Manning my father’s wedding, there’s always been something going on or coming up in my life that I’ve had marked on my mental roadmap. But now all that’s left ahead of me are goals that have yet to form into anything tangible.
This isn’t particularly a positive or a negative thing, it’s just something that’s taken me completely off-guard. This is probably what I would have felt after graduating, if I’d already had a job at that point. But now I have two jobs that I’m comfortable in, a stable income that keeps me afloat and gives me some breathing space (if I’m sensible), and no obligations to meet in my free time. There’s nothing but open road ahead of me, and whilst I should probably get to work on moving out before I can fully claim mastery of independence in my own life, that’s currently a vague enough determination to be sitting in the ‘goals’ category of my future.
I don’t quite know what this means for me as a person yet. This could either be an era of me working towards writing and personal goals in life, or falling into a rut. I’m going to try as hard as I can to make it the former. All I know is that I don’t have any excuses left – any upcoming events or necessities to focus on beforehand – to hide behind. It’s a weird feeling.
Perpetually Perturbed 