Around the age of eleven or twelve I created an MSN account to talk to my friends. And at the time it was the most wonderful thing, I was able to speak to them outside of school and without the boundaries of the clunkiness and costliness of texting. The IM system simulated conversations in that it truly was instant, something which I really don’t have to explain to anybody reading this as it was then swiftly integrated into Facebook, which subsequently blew up and devoured all of our lives.
The outcome of this has been a society in which many, and in some cases most of the conversations that we hold with friends are within that little chat window. We became such a big fan of instant messaging that we flocked to it (Like sheep? In droves? Take your pick) and adopted it without thinking twice. Emoticons that already existed in text messaging became universally understood, with the traditional smiley faces being automatically replaced by little pictures of what they were meant to represent, and later, of course, emojis. It’s part of our culture now, and without it I’m sure we’d all feel a little less connected.
But there’s a dark side to this. Besides, you know, the glaring one about staying inside and staring at a screen. The downside is that although we’ve become so adept at conveying ourselves through text as effortlessly as we would through speech, it is still not the same. The nuances and pitches that indicate humour or sarcasm or sadness are gone, replaced by a need for particular synonyms or emoticons which we sometimes don’t feel like or think about adding. The recipient of an IM will read it in a subconscious inner voice and if it fails to portray the way in which you meant to say something, it can have lasting effects on that person’s perception of your opinion or intentions. 99% of the time, of course, this does not happen. It seems, however, that in the long run, the worms are starting to come out of the woodwork and miscommunication is showing up more and more.
Now, this doesn’t sound like a big deal when you think about it initially. So, the odd joke gets taken the wrong way, so what? But it’s actually quite a problem. People (like me) who don’t wish to seek confrontations or who are doubtful or nervous in general, or people who with autism or similar conditions may find offense where none was meant, and simply not say anything. No wrong is meant or harboured by either party, but it can lead to a dampening of someone’s mood or a rift in a friendship.
And the damn “Seen” notification is the worst thing Facebook could have ever added to their messenger system. It adds a new level of social awkwardness when one who is busy, or doesn’t know how to answer something, or simply wishes (not unkindly) to end the conversation is trapped in the knowledge that they’ve made virtual eye contact. If left at this, the sender may become paranoid or think that they’ve caused offense. It adds a whole new layer of possible misunderstanding and paranoia.
Basically what I’m saying is this: Instant messaging is a great form of conversation. Use it as much as you want, talk to whoever you like, it’s great for that. But we’ve taken it for granted as a means of solid communication, and if you ever find something uncharacteristic or unexpected, always take it with a pinch of salt. If you really wish to converse with your friends, meet them in person, or at least talk over Skype. Not only is there less danger to be found in miscommunication but there is more humour in tone, more beauty in facial reception, and more social fulfillment in physical being.
Perpetually Perturbed 